The Marriage Rules is about the realities of marriage and having
done considerable research following my own divorce (after 25 years of
marriage) I discovered a fatal flaw in the “Love, Marriage, Baby Carriage”
formula.
I
would also like to point out that although my own marriage crashed and burned,
I still think it is a wonderful institution. The happiest years of my life were
spend with my former wife and two kids. So this won’t be some marriage bashing
blog post.
Here is fatal flaw number 1. The
idea that “After we’re married we’ll get to know each other better as the years
go by.”
Stupidest plan ever.
The
most dangerous thing about getting married is that it’s similar to deciding to
do something you would only do when you’re drunk or high.
Because when you are in love you are
high! You got those rose colored glasses on and their very voice is a sedative
for your soul. They complete you, they make getting up in the morning
worthwhile, your love will grow stronger as the years go by.
No it won’t.
Because as Bryan Ferry once sang, “Love is a drug”.
And it is, but that doesn’t mean
that once the love drug wears off, you’re in for a life of misery and
heartache. What you will discover is whether your spouse is your best friend or
your worst enemy.
I can’t think of anything better than spending your life with
your best friend.
Or anything worse than spending it with your worse enemy.
Or anything worse than spending it with your worse enemy.
Unfortunately too many people
discover they made the mistake of marrying the wrong person AFTER they’re
married. And this mistake could have been avoided if they had only taken the
time to do one thing.
And that is to ask specific questions on every issue they
consider important.
In my research on divorce I discovered the main reason new
marriages fail is because the two future partners hadn’t taken the time to
REALLY get to know one another. Because in their love drugged condition, the
warning sign weren’t noticed or acknowledged.
Imagine this conversation shortly after being married. “Wait!
Are you actually telling me you’re a Satanist? And that you worship Satan?
“Of course I am! Why do you think I wear this upside down
cross all the time or start each morning with the words, “Hail Satan?”
Might cause a little tension in the marriage, don’t you
think?
Or this one. “I really like Kyle and Tiffany. They’re so much
fun to be around and hang out with. You know what would be fun? Us having sex
with them.”
“What!!??? Are you out of your mind?”
Yeah, I see trouble down the road for those folks too.
No marriage is destruction proof. (I thought mine was.) But
if you want to really increase the odds of your marriage going the distance then
the both of you need to sit down and ask each other specific questions on how he
or she feels about things that are important to you.
Don’t know what questions to ask?
I do. And I put them in a book I wrote called The Marriage
Rules: The 100 Questions You and Your Future Spouse MUST Answer BEFORE Getting
Married.
One of the great tragedies of life is marrying someone,
finding out he or she is not the person you thought they were and then divorcing,
severing all ties with someone who, had you not married them, could have
remained a close friend throughout your life.
That old saying “Marry in haste, repent in leisure,” is
one the great truisms.
So don’t let it happen to you. Download a copy of The Marriage
Rules: The 100 Questions You and Your Future Spouse MUST Answer BEFORE Getting
Married. Then sit down with your future partner, answer all the
questions and know for sure that you’re marrying the right person.
And if your life is too hectic to sit down and read, no
problem, The Marriage Rules: The 100 Questions You and Your Future Spouse MUST Answer
BEFORE Getting Married. Is also available as an audio book. So you can
hear the questions you need to ask while you are busy, say during you daily commute or jog.
Here’s the link: http://www.audible.com/pd/Self-Development/The-Marriage-Rules-Audiobook/B00HYLVLQU/ref=a_search_c4_1_5_srTtl?qid=1390585441&sr=1-5
Deciding to get married is likely the biggest decision you
will make during your life. So it’s important that you do everything possible
to make sure your decision is the right one. So download The Marriage Rules: The 100
Questions You and Your Future Spouse MUST Answer BEFORE Getting Married.
Today.
